Pre-Cana Rounds Two and Three

Future Spouse and I, not happy enough with round one of the torture, oh I meant pre-cana, decided (were forced) to head back to Rounds 2 and 3 for more fun!

Round 2 of pre-cana can be summed up in one phrase: Sex the Catholic way!
Yes, that's right boys and girls, nothing says fun like listening to a Deacon say the words "my wife and I use Natural Family Planning and becuase of that I know, down to the minute, what time each of my children was conceived." I also enjoyed the tirade against birth control that included the phrase "it has been proven that birth control is bad for women's health." Really? Tell me how please! We just laughed our way through this until they put a video on to tell us about Natural Family Planning and how its the best birth control on the market. The video used words like "cervical" and "mucus." I thought I was going to vomit or laugh too hard, so I just stared at the floor. I looked up at one point and realized that the video was made in the late sixties and about threw up from trying not to laugh. We ran from there as fast as we could and came home laughing so hard. What else can you do?

Round Three looked promising from the start. This week we were going to discuss Finances! With the recession in full swing and unemployment hovering around 10% in the country, I figured this would be a great chat. Instead, we a got a sheet of paper with financial planning information on it that was so outdated we just, once again, started laughing. I guess if you live in the middle of nowhere you can get by on a house for $150,000, but we live in a metro area....$150,000 is a downpayment on a condo! Then we got a 20 minute lecture on joint checking accounts and how each of us should know where every single penny goes. Future Spouse goes "I don't care if you spend $10 for lunch...geeze...this is old school stuff." Yes, yes it is. Are you surprised? So the class ended and we went to leave. I walked up to the deacon and stuck out my hand to shake his. He looked at me, turned around and waited til Future Spouse walked up, shook his hand, and then came back to me. Ugh. I forgot, I m supposed to be standing behind my man, not in front of him...god forbid the deacon shake my hand first. What matters, I guess, is that we got our piece of paper saying we can get married. I came home and promptly threw out every handout the Deacon had given us and put the magic paper in a safe place.
Lessons Learned from Pre-Cana Rounds 2 and 3:
1. Don't have sex. Its just easier this way to not have to worry about it.
2. People in religious occupations should never, ever, ever, discuss their sex lives out loud.
3. A joint checking account is the only way to go. "Honey, I spent a quarter at a parking meter today. Put it in the book."
4. A house should only cost $150,000.